One couple, two perspectives, tons of geekery

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

How to Hook a Princess

The Warlock's notes on how he caught his Princess.

So you want a princess of your very own, huh? Well if kidnapping or coercion isn’t your style, here are a few tips on how to go about courting a scene girl especially if she’s in a subculture you are not very familiar with.

The Gamer

The Princess says:

Maybe you saw her at a convention, or maybe she’s a new girl in your gaming community. Whatever the case may be, her hobby makes her very accessible since gaming is a social hobbythat anyone can participate in.    If she’s in your local gaming scene, then you’ll probably have a good chance to get to know her. If she’s at a convention, try to get involved in a game she’s playing in.

Play it cool with a gamer girl. She’s likely just as much of a fan as you are and probably just as eager to discuss the pros and cons of 3.5 vs Pathfinder. Treat her like an equal. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what she’s doing. I’ve seen plenty of guys make the mistake of assuming I don’t know anything about a given game based purely on the fact of being female. It can be very frustrating. If you happen to be involved in a game with her, an easy opener is using the game or her character as a conversation opener. Try to avoid instantly going into your character and all your war stories. Give her the chance to speak. Get her going enough and you may score a phone number.

The Warlock says:

Ok, so you found the girl that does want to hear about your 20th level paladin, or at least will listen, so don’t over react!  The worst thing to do is overwhelm her, you want her to be able to open up .  Ask about her gamming experiences, ask about what games she likes, what her favorite characters are.  Give her plenty of time to tell you about what she likes.  Then once you have some footing  try to find ways to compare your experiences with hers.  You already have a lot of similarities if your both gamming, so try to find ways to cement that.  You want her to look at your similarities not differences.  Gamming can create some intense emotional experiences, find out what some of hers are, and then try to link it to one of your.  Now you have a linked strong emotional experience in both your minds, try to find a few more common grounds, and she’ll start to think you were made for each other.  Make sure she knows how to get into your other games, but don’t insist, just leave the comparison from her old game to this new one so entice her.  

The Lolita

The Princess says:

Tread carefully when pursuing a lolita. As someone who in actively involved in this scene, I can say to you with confidence that lolitas are very wary about being approached by strangers. And with good reason – we’re constantly the target of creepers and random people shouting insults at us on the streets because of our unique fashion sense. Please understand that this causes us to be more on the defensive when we’re out and about.

The first thing is not to assume that just because she is a scene girl does not necessarily also mean that she’s also into anime or gaming. Some are, yes. But not all. Lolitas appreciate sincerity and genuine displays of interest. Try starting off by complimenting her and follow up with a remark about how refreshing it is to meet someone who is willing to be themselves contrary to what popular media dictates. This will win you major brownie points. Saying something along those lines shows her that you are accepting her for who she is. Acceptance and validation are something many lolitas sadly lack in both society and their personal lives, so hearing this will certainly warm her up to you. From there feel to ask questions, just make sure to keep them respectful and be aware that she may be a bit guarded at first.

The Warlock says:

This one requires a bit of leg work, but if you put the time in at the beginning this one should a bit easier in execution.  Learn fashion.  Watch Project Runway, read a fashion magazine, or if you corner cutter (not a good plan here) at least watch The Devil Wears Prada.  Lolita’s know their fashion so faking it just won’t work.  Once you know a bit work on complementing the clothes.  Ask “Is that Innocent World?” or “Did you see Angelic Pretty’s last fashion show?  They had a dress very similar to that….”.  You don’t need to be an expert they’ll forgive you if you can’t tell Baby The Stars Shine Bright from Victorian Maiden, but the fact that you’re not ignorant of their life style is a great foot in the door (In fact if your clever enough to actually know the difference, you may want to make the mistake anyway, her correcting you should take longer than her just saying yes, giving you more face time to make yourself memorable)  Once you establish that you are 1) not making fun of them, and 2) know what they are about it should be easy to get them to talk to you.  For extra brownie points brush up on Victorian etiquette and use it whenever you can. 
The Cosplayer

The Princess says:

For the most part, you’re likely to meet a cosplay girl at a convention. Luckily, she’s displaying her fandom out in the open, so that gives you the opportunity to discuss a potential mutual interest right there. If she’s dressed out as a character from a video game series, you can ask her what she thinks of the newest game. It’s nice to be approached by someone who is interested in your thoughts and not the skin tight body suit you’re wearing.
Which brings me to the next point – her eyes are located on her head not her chest. Keep your sight above shoulder level. She’s likely been stalked around by shady characters with cameras all day. The last thing she wants is to have to deal with more lewd stares. Also remember that the more physically attractive and more revealing her attire is, the more frequently she has to deal with this behavior. 

The Warlock says:

Cosplayers are a bit eclectic so you’ll have to be a bit careful on your approach.  Fortunately if you around them, there is probably a group so you should have a few chances.  We’ll start with average/not revealing everything cosplayer.  Most of them are out going, expressive, and excitable.  Be very excited about their costume.  They did a GREAT job on it, IT’S AMAZING!!!!!  Working  in a little physical contact, such a feel of the sleeve, or closer look at a head piece is a great way to get in close and intimate fast.  Physical contact is a tricky situation but, they are usually used to being glomped so you should be good as long as you don’t just start caressing them or something.  After that try to find out what their other interests are besides the show.  Do they only like anime, do they love video games, are they any other category listed in this article.  Once you know what else they are like try to use that to build conversations on.  You want to stand out, and everyone is talking about their costume already so you need to talk about something else they like.  

Now onto the Poison Ivy/ Darth Talon/Is-that-just-a-pasty? cosplayer.  Boy are you not the first guy to hit on her, and yes she is sick of it by now.  So you have to make her come to you.  If she’s in the costume she knows who it is, and is probably as knowledgeable as you.  Use that.  Make a comment about the costume, but DON’T complement it.  “Really the costume from issue 18….bit overdone don’t you think?”  “Is that a wig?” (If it looks real NOT if it’s obviously a wig)  “Did you think about using liquid Latex for those scars?”  Make her defend the costume.  Make her interested in the fact that you’re not going out of your way please her like everyone else.  If you can open it to other critiques of the costume.  You don’t want to insult her but try to find neutral comments that make her fish for meaning, and therefore talk to you. 

The Rennie 

The Princess says:

Check out any local Renn Faire and you’re sure to find a flock of ladies with their bosoms half spilling from their tightened corsets. It’s an immediate allure for sure, and pair that with their fondness for bawdy songs and beer and you have yourself the chance for a potential vivacious and fun loving partner.

Like the Cosplayer, Rennie ladies (or wenches, as some refer to themselves as), are used to being gawked at by passersby. They’ve also probably heard every come on there is in the book. Futhermore, Rennies tend to keep to themselves when it goes to relationships. Faire workers and faire regulars are infamous for having a rather incestuous social scene. To get her attention you’ll need to stand out from the crowd without coming off as a total creeper. Rennies tend to appreciate witty humor, devilish charm and intelligence, so cleverness is the way to go for a first move. Try pulling aside a roaming rose seller and asking him/her to deliver a rose to her for you.

The Warlock says:

The fastest way to catch one is to be one, or at least seem to be one.  Like the Lolita this requires a bit of leg work.  You don’t have to have everything memorized, but learn a drinking song or two, review “medieval”  English vernacular (you don’t have to use it, but be able to follow it, and laugh at jokes) , and build up your tolerance for drinking.  You don’t necessarily need to be in costume or “garb” but it helps.  Don’t go half way though.  If it’s going to be a ruffled shirt with jeans and a Yankee cap don’t bother.  Just dress normal and be yourself.  If you’re going to wear garb then go and get a whole set and show your really invested.  The last thing you need is some gimmick, to help separate you from the rest of the pageantry.   If you can juggle, or ride a unicycle or do card tricks then great.  Lug that stuff around and make an impression.  If not try to find some obscure historical facts, memorize them and then drop them when you can.  This should be enough to get you started, but you’ll probably need to really learn stuff if you want things to continue.     

Closing thoughts

The Princess says:

There are a few universal tips when it comes to pursuing any lady. First, we can smell  desperation from a mile away. Women respond to confidence. That’s why you see so many of them with jerks. Don’t be a jerk, but do try to carry yourself with pride.

Second, give her space. Emotionally and physically. If you’ve made your move, chances are she’s picked up on it. If she’s interested, she will respond, if she doesn’t, let her go. Additionally, when approaching any girl, please don’t invade her personal space and do not make physical contact. Most women find that very invasive and may be freaked out. So please respect herpersonal space.

The Warlock says:

Be memorable.  Find ways to have a conversation, and make her think.  The more face time you can get the better.  Don’t be embarrassed by any of your likes and show interest in all of hers.  You need to be confident and show you are compatible.  Spend the extra money on good “garb” or clothes (at least 3 of the 4 Princess here are dressing up regularly) If you don’t look like you care about your clothes, then way would you care about theirs?  Don’t walk around in a ripped T-Shirt even if it does show how old school you are.  And last practice.  You don’t have to hit on every girl you see, and you don’t need to be hitting on someone to practice.  Just use the tips above to talk to girls about your hobby without wanting or needing it to go anywhere.  You’ll both get a fun conversation and you can get over any jitters you have about talking to girls.  Then when the time comes that you’re looking for that special someone’s number you can be more relaxed about it.  

(Or just make your own princess here!)

1 comment:

  1. I... love this blog... more men need to read this.. but then again.. i alas have done and still do EVERY category of girl you listed.. xD. Its those hybrids that are tricky!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...